S1:E21 Sneak Peek At How I Am Currently Handling Imposter Syndrome: Behind the scenes of the Joy RECLAIMED Summit
Today I'll share some things I’ve been learning about myself while trying something new, so that you can take what you need from it, and make your own process a whole lot easier!
Because if nothing else, trying to do something new, something outside of your comfort zone, is always going bring up new challenges to your sense of confidence. And then you might find that you are dealing with, yep, imposter syndrome.
Read on to learn the behind-the-scenes of how I have wrestled with imposter syndrome recently, and how it not only led me even deeper into self love liberation, but how you can use similar steps to support your own battles with imposter syndrome.
Warmly,
Linda
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Meet Your Host!
Linda Sanderville, LCSW, RYT-200 is the founder of Satya Counseling & Yoga LLC. She specializes in concierge therapy for female founders and public figures, helping high-profile women navigate public scandal, executive burnout, and the values that will define the second half of life. Based in Albuquerque and serving clients virtually in DC, Maryland, Virginia, and beyond, Linda combines clinical expertise with somatic wisdom to help leaders reclaim their truth.
Read below for full transcript.
Intro by Linda: Hi, I'm Linda, self-love coach and hypnotherapist who loves a good yoga class in my pajamas, listening to the belly laughs of my baby boys, and hunting down the best vegan donuts. This podcast is for ambitious and soulful women who want to feel fulfilled in all areas of their life and are ready to dive deep into the mysteries and wonders of the subconscious mind in order to achieve that. So if you are ready to be let loose from the shackles of self-sabotage and design a life of emotional freedom and everyday abundance, you are in the perfect place. Because life can get even better than you imagine, and the biggest shifts start inside of you. Welcome.
[00:00] Welcome & Today's Topic
Hi, welcome back. I wanted to share a few things with you around a recent rebrand that I went through, as well as my current recent, but really current experience navigating imposter syndrome. Because I thought that it would be helpful for you to actually hear about this while I'm still in the midst of it. I know a lot of coaches share things with you after they already have like the packaged up success story, but that's not what we do. Not how we do things here. Because this is all about really being authentic and embracing yourself fully, no matter what's going on or what, you know, the results look like or what the image looks like, because we're not concerned about image, okay?
I want to share with you the behind the scenes on what it's been like for me with navigating doing something very new in my business. I am a seasoned business owner, but recently I've been doing something that is brand new to me. And so it's kicked up a lot of dust around feeling like an imposter. And I can share with you, you know, why that was happening, what's going on and also the process that I'm going through currently in order to manage those feelings and those self-doubts and insecurities and make myself feel a lot more resilient while I'm still in the middle of it. Okay, so that sounds good to you when you're ready for a story as well as some tips, then, you know, settle in.
[02:19] The Joy Reclaimed Summit & the Imposter Syndrome It Triggered
So you may have seen me or heard me talk about the Joy Reclaimed Summit. That's an online event that's running all month long, the month of October 2023. You may be listening to this a long time from now, but right now it's October 2023. And I've been preparing for this month for, you know, many weeks now. And I'm currently running the summit that has, you know, 26 speakers, including me, and covers a range of topics that deal with the well-being of women. So whether it's relationships, intimacy, sexuality, financial, you know, freedom, planning for retirement, trying to have effective communication around conflict—there's almost everything is covered within this event.
And that's because of the amazing group of women that I was able to corral and introduce myself to and get to know who have expertise and a lot to give and a lot to share around all these different topics. So I'm really impressed with them so far; people who have been listening to the presentations inside of the summit have been really impressed with them. And that doesn't surprise me because they're really great and they're very generous. They really want more women to live a life that is full, where they feel satisfied, where they feel equipped and confident. And that's my mission too. So we're all in alignment with what we want to do for women as a whole. And that's really exciting.
Now, as great as it's been to meet all of these women and network with them and see that we have very similar visions, and then to come together and start putting on this event that already is really making people feel really encouraged and inspired and taken care of as they come into our platform—even as all that is going on, the fact is I am continuing to be pushed out of my comfort zone because I'm doing something that's completely new to me. I've never put on an event on this scale in this way before. I've been in positions of authority, I've managed people, I've managed groups, I've trained repeatedly, I've taught, I've mentored—but this is just very different. And it's also doing something very new while being very public, right? It's very much in the public eye as it's going on. I can't sort of like do it away in secret, because that wouldn't work for what it is.
And so it definitely is kicking up some things around, you know, who am I to be doing this? You're new to this, do you really know what you're doing? Can you handle it? This is going to mess up, this thing is going to fall apart—you know, all these things that come up as a result of the perfectionistic part of me that is really afraid of doing something new that isn't already familiar and messing up, right? Because that part is only really comfortable doing things that it already knows that it will be 110% successful at.
And you know, the good thing for this part is I do tend to do things excellently. However, it can't be that way all the time, right? We all have to be beginners at some point at something that we want to try that we haven't had our hand at yet. So that's what's going on right now. I'm a beginner at this. Obviously, I'm not a beginner at using resources wisely. So I am making sure that I am getting coached, that I am really using proven processes that will make this the most effective and helpful experience for those who are involved, and that I'm treating my speakers really well. But it's still very new.
And so even though I have a pretty high level of belief in myself—I would say it's higher than average, partly as a result, I would say a lot of it is as a result of all the work that I've done in my subconscious work, a lot of the things that I teach in my program—I know how to use a bunch of confidence-enhancing techniques to support my mindset, and yet I am still struggling with a lot of imposter syndrome. So as I was figuring out, okay, where is all this coming from? Why is all this cropping up so much right now? I should know better. I should be fully confident, right? You know, I just kind of checked in and I was seeking to understand—is this because I'm somehow failing to cultivate abundance in some way? Am I acting out of alignment with my own values or my purpose or my expertise? And I really concluded, no, none of those things is true. In fact, I am very mindful about how I make decisions in my personal and professional life. I want to make sure that they are a match for what I actually desire and the ways that I am uniquely equipped to impact other people for the good.
So having checked that out, I saw that what was happening was much more a sign of how I had some unmet needs that weren't being given enough attention. And without meeting those needs, the discomfort of stepping into the unknown was going to be a lot higher than it needed to be. So I wanted to make sure once I realized this—okay, that's right, this makes perfect sense that I would have this reaction—I decided to make sure that I gave my nervous system the support that I would need to confidently walk through this unfamiliar territory of cultivating a project like this without making demands of it that were unreasonable. Because a certain amount of uncertainty or wondering how this is going to turn out is quite normal.
[08:33] My Process: Core Belief Work, IFS, Fun & Daily Habits
So the way that I went about having an aligned response to this feeling of being an imposter with this new venture was to first start with the things that the habits—the sort of self-love, self-care habits—that would be just small enough to happen regularly, like things I could do really easily on a regular basis, as opposed to just doing one big one-off large gesture that wasn't going to be repeated. I know from my work with helping people to transform their lives that when I'm working with women, it's not just doing the big, huge, dramatic changes. Those changes really often happen as a result of or are solidified by the everyday decisions that they make, the everyday actions that they take. And that's why we work so much on self-love habits.
So I decided to make sure that I was paying a lot more attention towards those smaller, simpler types of actions that I could take even more so than the bigger one-time events. But I did use those bigger one-off experiences and decisions to help either kickstart my energy or my motivation or to maintain it. So I just used it in a more strategic manner rather than relying on a big one-time event to solve all my insecurities and all my imposter syndrome. Feelings that I was having are really thoughts—they weren't so much feelings, are more so the thoughts, right.
So the first thing I did to break out of my initial funk was to go back to using the subconscious tools, you know, core belief makeover tools, that would help me to sort through those negative thoughts and beliefs that were surfacing as a result of this new thing that I was doing. I wanted to make sure that I could process these things through and out of my system so that they wouldn't just linger there in my body or in my headspace. So that's what I focused on first.
And that helped me to pinpoint the underlying negative core beliefs that this new experience was tapping into. Because if we're feeling triggered by something, there is some kind of negative underlying belief that we already hold that we feel our current situation or circumstances is reinforcing, right. So if I already think that people are going to leave me because they're secretly very angry with me and they're not going to tell me that they're angry until they just abandon me—then anytime someone in my life looks at me in a way that I don't understand or gives me a weird look, I'll assume that they're actually incredibly infuriated with me, they're really angry, and I'm about to be abandoned. I'll interpret things that way. I will react out of a place that assumes that's what they are thinking and feeling about me, right. And then that whole cycle goes.
So I wanted to make sure that I addressed, okay, what are the things that I maybe do think or believe, or the doubts that seem real and true to me, that I want to do some work on. So I did some EFT tapping, I did clinical hypnosis. And these helped me to snap out of my fear-based thinking and to see that it was really ridiculous—kind of just the path that my thoughts were taking me down. You know, I was really believing like, oh, you're not in a posture for taking up space on this new stage, you're not qualified, all these things—and it really helped me to see like, wow, that's really factually not true. It's just not true. And so I felt way more settled about that after I did those processes. The activation that I felt spiritually and emotionally and physically really drove down a lot. So it was easier to think more clearly and kind of sort through what was going on.
And I also made sure that I was keeping my appointments with my internal family systems coach because those appointments are very near and dear to me. Doing parts work and working with my internal parts, the different parts of Linda, has been hugely beneficial for me. And it helps me to respond differently to myself in times of uncertainty. And I've also been able to witness the ways in which my clients benefit from this work that I do with them with their parts. It gives them such a huge shift in perspective and mindset. And it's always just such a pleasure to watch them really let the light go off in their eyes when we're doing this work together. So I made sure that I kept my personal appointments with that as well. So some of this was self-directed, some of it was working with someone who was coaching me through the process.
And then I looked at figuring out ways to insert some lighthearted fun into my schedule. And I just made those plans immediately. Some of it was just low-hanging fruit. Like I took myself to the movies one day, and I went to the nice theater—you know, like we all have the nice theater. Like, okay, so the side story: my husband and I on our honeymoon, we saw Spider-Man, the animated version of Spider-Man—I don't know if it's Marvel actually, but I might have just made that up.
Anyway, we went and saw Spider-Man on our honeymoon, and it was in a theater in an unfamiliar city. So we just chose the theater that had a showing after we had dinner that night. And this theater was nasty. Okay, like the entire floor was sticky. Also there was like blood stains in the bathroom, like it was a whole situation. We did stay and watch the film, but yeah, next time I will choose the theater and it's important, right? Like you want the experience. So anyway, I went to the nice theater a couple weeks ago and watched a film. And it's one of those places where you can actually have a meal while you're watching your movie. So even more comforting and cozy.
So I did that. I made sure that I went on some dates with my husband where we could go out and see some new things and eat good food. I also planned a rare trip back home to see my friends and family because I really missed them and noticed that that was also an unmet need that I needed to tend to, even though it was totally not planned. You know, we were able to find a way to make that work. I'm so grateful for that.
So these are things that helped to break up my routine, to shift me out of the place where I was starting to really have more challenges than usual to my confidence. So that was helpful just to break me out of that pattern, but also to give me things to look forward to that were highly motivating, right? Things I can look forward to even on the other side of this unfamiliar change I'm going through. And that really helps with making you able to withstand the stress of a current circumstance when you can break it up in a similar way.
So then finally, after that, I went through my actual day-to-day routine, and I looked to see where I could make adjustments that would help me to feel physically and emotionally at my best. And so that I could just deal with the waves of uncertainty that were going to happen—and they were happening every couple of days. I expected that would still hold true. And that's been the case. Though I will say that it's been different since I went through these processes.
So from past experience, I already knew that exercise was really important for me, you know, reading—like reading actual physical books. I am a millennial, so I'm equally comfortable with digital things, analog things. So I literally went to the public library. I love going to the public library. I always make sure I get a public library card whenever I move to a new city. That's just my thing. I got some books. I made sure that I re-upped on my favorite oil for my foot rubs because those make a difference physically and mentally. They just do. And I also just started working out again. As a mom of two pretty young boys—you know, my youngest is a year and a half—I've been out of rhythm with working out for a while anyway. And so I felt that this was a time that it felt good to me to do that. Right. It wasn't like, it wasn't an I should. It was an I want to. And so that's why I made it part of the routine.
[17:16] Announcement
Okay, Self Love Beauties, I have a special announcement to make. I have an event coming up this October, the 2nd through the 27th. It's called the Joy Reclaimed Summit and it is a gathering for women just like you who are looking to experience breakthroughs with physical health, emotional health, relational health, what have you. And I've handpicked 25 exceptional women to speak directly to you and share their stories of how they have achieved their own breakthroughs and been able to reclaim their joy. So definitely come be a part of this gathering. You can find it at joyreclaimedsummit.com and the information will also be in the show notes. And a bonus, there's going to be giveaways each week. If you join in with the Facebook group for the event, you will have opportunities to win some really nice prizes, including some one-on-one sessions with myself and some of my other speaker coaches. And that will help you to get to your breakthrough even faster. All right. So I look forward to seeing you there.
Permission to Have Doubts
And so thankfully with the cardio and mini trampoline workouts and yoga, the endorphins kicked in really quickly. So that's been helping to sustain that habit. And over all of this, as I alluded to earlier, I gave myself permission to have doubts. Because when you've never done something before, you literally don't know what the experience is like. You don't have that lived experience in your system to be like, oh yeah, I know all about that. It's nothing to me, right? At that point, it is all new. And whenever something's new—like when you're learning how to drive, you're paying attention to everything, right? Every light, every car next to you, every pedestrian anywhere in the vicinity—your attention is so stretched and it can be really overwhelming.
I know I was overwhelmed when I was learning how to drive. And now I drive mainly on autopilot, like mainly. It's so automatic now. And I'm a pretty good driver if I do say so myself. But you can have doubts. You have permission to have doubts when you're doing something you've never done before. It's natural to wonder not only how it will feel, but how other people will take it. You know, we kind of wonder like, what are people going to think about me when I do this thing? If I apply for that promotion, if I speak my mind for once and they're not used to that, if I say no and they're used to me always saying yes—how will they react? It's natural to wonder. And it's natural to wonder what the outcome will be. Will people be upset? Will my boss say, no, you haven't been showing yourself to be capable of this position? Will I get negative feedback? What's going to happen? It's natural to be curious and wonder that.
I just decided that it was useless to base all my decisions on the outcomes or the reactions of other people. These are things I can't control, right? So I didn't want to be tying myself up in knots trying to control things that weren't controllable anyway, because that would have been such a waste of time and energy when there are plenty of things I could put my attention to that were within my realm of control and of influence. It also helped that I had one of my other coaches in my corner really reminding me of this—that I could be uncertain and still move forward and it was okay. So that didn't hurt either.
[20:31] Six Takeaways for You & Closing
So let's talk about you, right? That's my story. But really the point of me sharing all of that is so that you can reflect as you're hearing me talk about those things—where can you relate to what I was experiencing, but really am experiencing right now? Again, this isn't something that's a done deal and here's the oh, it all turned out perfectly and all that. This is still something I'm in the midst of right now. So I'm hoping that as you're listening, you're taking away what you can relate to, what maybe has recently happened in your life that brought about similar feelings or is currently happening that is bringing up similar imposter syndrome for you. And you know, if it's useful for you, here are some things that you can take away as far as my process goes.
One, check in with yourself to see if the emotional rollercoaster ride that you're on right now is actually as a result of something that you did wrong that you need to take responsibility for. Sometimes that's true. Or maybe it's something that's just a natural reaction to operating outside of what is normal and routine and every day for you. Maybe it's just a natural reaction to that.
Two, identify any unmet needs that you may have that are contributing to your stinking thinking, right, or imposter syndrome. Because you may find some very important information there. We usually do. And make sure that you evaluate—is there something that's unmet? Is there something that I need that I've been putting off or that I've been putting other people's needs first and therefore I haven't been attending to this thing for myself?
Three, learn how to use core belief makeover techniques such as EFT, hypnosis—things that will help to really snatch you out of that dysfunctional thinking and those dysfunctional attitudes, because you'll be able to get through. You don't want to get around it. You don't want to avoid because you can't. That will help you to get through that experience a lot more quickly and successfully. Those are a game changer, okay? So don't try to skip that part.
Four—and I can count—use fun activities to break up your schedule and consider ways to increase positive anticipation by giving yourself something nice to look forward to. This isn't about money, right? I used an example of going to the public library—books are not that expensive, right? But I really do prefer just going and checking out a book for free from my public library. That feels good for me. It might be something different for you. Some of you enjoy hiking, some of you enjoy just sitting outside on a nice fall day and drinking a cup of coffee or some tea or walking through a garden in your neighborhood. Whatever feels good for you. It doesn't have to cost money to be something nice to look forward to. It just has to align with you. That's it.
Five, reconsider your daily habits and try to stack up some quick, relatively easy routines that will give you some quick wins and make you more resilient to stress. You want to make sure that you're taking care of yourself in a way that makes you less vulnerable to stress in the first place, because then it makes it so much easier to handle anything else that comes, right? If you're being hit by anything and everything and it's breaking you down, well, that's a lot more work for you, right? You can make it easier on yourself by doing the work on the front end to be more resistant to the stress in the first place. Things like sunshine, getting that vitamin D in you. Hello, my dark-skinned listeners, just like me, right? Make sure you're getting your vitamin D. Make sure that you are—for everyone—just watching your nutritional intake. What do you need to make sure that you're eating every day that makes you feel good? That's different for different people. Do you need to move your body in a different way? Do you need to go to a Zumba class? Do you need to just dance around your kitchen? What is it for you?
And then finally, number six, just give yourself permission to feel uncertain. You don't have to have all the answers. You will learn by doing, and that's okay. Really that's how we learn most things in life. That's how we learned how to walk for those of us who walk. That's how we learned how to talk for those of us who talk, right? We learned by doing and stumbling and messing up and eventually we got it. And that's to the point where we barely think about that thing anymore, right? Me driving on autopilot.
So I hope that was helpful for you. Be sure to leave a comment if you decide to try putting any of those things into practice—I'd love to hear from you. And just a reminder that you can find all of these things, all the processes I just talked about—you can find support and guidance and actually how to do them for all of those parts of the process inside of my signature program, Love Yourself Liberated. It has gone through a rebrand. It's no longer Self-Love Skills. It is Love Yourself Liberated. And it's really just kind of zoning in on the fact that I really want you to be free of the shackles of self-sabotage, right? I want you to be able to live with a lot less fear and a lot more abundance. And I have a feeling that you want that for yourself too. So that's what it is. Thank you for listening and I hope it blesses you. I will talk with you soon.
You hung with me to the end, my shero. If you benefited from this episode, please say thanks by leaving a wonderful review. It helps me know what's helping you the most and allows more like-minded women to find and learn from this podcast. We don't want to keep all the good stuff for ourselves. See you next time.
[Editing Note: The Love Yourself Liberated! group program is not currently available. If you are interested in this content and guidance, it is now exclusively provided through my concierge psychotherapy practice, Satya Counseling & Yoga.]
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